Category Archives: Movies

Review: It Follows

Warning: Spoilers.

Ok, peeps. This is a horror flick. For sure. My husband didn’t like one part of it, and I’ll give him that part, but that’ll come later.it-follows-main

First, I’ll give it this: people were obviously acting. I mean, obviously acting. Conversations between characters were unnatural and forced. This is my one criticism.

In this story, a girl is seeing a cute guy who gets her into the back seat of his car. Things happen, of course, and then he knocks her out and ties her to a wheel chair… to show her this present he gave her: this thing that follows her.

The rules are simple: don’t let it touch you; it’s slow, keep moving; don’t go into a place that has only one exit; you sleep with someone to pass it on; if it kills the person it’s following, it goes back after the last person, and so on and so on; oh, and once you pass it on, you can still see it.

If you don’t want any spoilers, stop reading here. You’ve been warned. 🙂

The group of horrid teenagers starts off with three girls and two boys. The first is the girl, Jay, that was initially given the thing. There’s her sister, some kid who’s in love with Jay, and another boy and girl who I can’t recall who they are other than they are around, I imagine.

We know no one can see it if it hasn’t been passed to them. The dynamics of the group are such that, they could easily pass it to everyone in the group, and everyone could see it and stand guard, and they would be able to work together, right?

No. No that’s not what happens. The girl trusts the one random dood who she barely even likes to do the dirty with and pass it to him. He gets complacent and one night she sees the thing breaking into his house, and it kills him. From then on, it’s a lot of running and planning and plotting and a lot of failure. At one point, she seduces some doods on a boat, and the thing still comes after her… so they presumably die.

They come to a point where they think they’ve stopped it, the girl does the dirty with the boy who’s all helplessly in love with her, and then we see them walking down the street, hand in hand… and as the camera zooms out, it’s following behind them, then BAM! Cut to black. This is the bit my husband hated. WHY DIDN’T IT END IN THE POOL! <- says he. 🙂

It’s pretty thrilling, in spite of being predictable. It’s the kind of movie that could easily have a dozen sequels, and that wouldn’t bother me at all. I’m sure I’d watch them.

There it is… Maybe… 7 out of 10. 🙂

Review: Metal Tornado

Metal_Tornado_CoverSo… Metal Tornado.

I’m looking at this movie, and I’m thinking… LOU DIAMOND PHILLIPS! HELL YEAH!

No. Just… No. The whole movie is… Well, it’s a lot like Bigfoot. With Bigfoot, I thought… OMG! It’s Danny Bonaduce and Barry Williams! The Partridge Family and the Brady Bunch! OMG! This is going to be pure awesome!!

No. It was awful. It was so awful I highly recommend you don’t even bother with Bigfoot… Unless you want to be driven to self-harm.

I recommend that you only bother Metal Tornado if the idea of an electromagnetic tornado appeals to you at all and be warned that this lives right up to the awesome standards set by lowest-budget SyFy movies. Dear god.

Sharknado 2, this is not.

Snowpiercer

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Snowpiercer (2013)

So… I didn’t know what to think of this thing… I really wasn’t sure. I mean… It’s got the guy who plays Captian America… I was shocked to find that the evil woman was the chick who plays Gabriel in Constantine and Orlando in Orlando.

The movie, I’ll admit, did _not_ go as I had expected. It was a typical dystopia, it was surprisingly well made. It apparently made nothing in the US relatively speaking, but did huge abroad. I think it was an independent flick anyway, based on a french graphic novel.

I’m trying hard to say things about this movie without giving too much away. It’s really crazy. I will say that it repeats quite a bit this very strong reinforcement of social class. So much so that it hurts me to witness it throughout the movie. Every bit of society is represented here in this little world. Some believe it is all that is left of humanity, even.

The plot goes like this: someone has come up with a chemical to cool the earth, to counter global warming, and it plunges us into a sort of ice age. Aware of this future, the man named Wilton builds a train that will run forever, around the earth, once a year, and he takes enough people onto this train to sustain a closed ecosystem. The movie is about how he accomplishes this and how the social dynamics in the train change over time.

I really liked it and would recommend it to anyone who enjoys apocalypse and dystopia.

Fifth Element Tattoo

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So, I do love the Fifth Element. I love it so much I got a tattoo. But my ocd side wouldn’t let me get exactly the tattoo from the movie, no. You see, there was no difference between the upper left and the lower right. That would make them the same element. We can’t have that. So I flipped one of them from the original so they are different. Woot!

Totally Random: Philly Comic Con

philadelphia-comic-con-2014-wizard-world-convention-june-19-20-21-22-2014-thur-fri-sat-sun-14It looks like I might be going to this thing… I mean… Maybe… I’m super freaking out right now at the very thought that this might be happening. OMG! The short list of folks I want to see while I’m there: Billie Piper, David Tennant, Nathan Fillion, Summer Glau (remember Sylvia?), Danny Trejo, Roman Reigns, Dolph Ziggler, Sting, Karl Urban, Adrian Paul (SWOON).

Folks, I’m just freaking… freaking out… OMG!

The Rivers

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River: They weren’t cows inside. They were waiting to be, but they forgot. Now they see sky, and they remember what they are.
Mal: Is it bad that what she said made perfect sense to me?

 

I love River. I knew from the moment I saw her she was capable of more than I could imagine. I kept saying… why is she allowing this? She could lay waste and save them all! And she does. Oh does she.

You know what other River I love? River Song.

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River Song

 

The beautiful, snarky, amazing wife of the Doctor.

German Officer: What are you doing here?
River: Well. I was on my way to this gay gypsy bar mitzvah for the disabled, when I suddenly thought, “Gosh. The Third Reich’s a bit rubbish. I think I’ll kill the Führer.” Who’s with me?
German Officer: Shoot her.

Who wouldn’t love that sense of humor?

Good morning, all!

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